JD & Kate Industries is a local company that specializes in... er... unusual scents. Our favorite is, not surprisingly, the St. Louis Scented Candle!
If you are not from St. Louis, you probably have a lot of questions about this candle.
Q: What is that thing on top of the candle? Is that the famous St. Louis Gateway Arch?
A: No, it is a toasted ravioli, which is a St. Louis delicacy. But in this case, it is made out of wax.
Q: Can I eat it?
A: It’s a free country, and you can eat whatever you want. But you definitely SHOULDN’T eat it, because as I said, it is made of wax.
Q: What about the grated cheese? Is it real? I am fresh out of grated cheese, and I need some to rub onto my pulse points, for prom.
A: Sorry, that’s wax too. And before you ask, so is the red “marinara sauce.” Do not eat any part of this candle.
Q: What does the candle smell like? Does it really smell like toasted ravioli?
A: It’s as close as we could get without sticking a bunch of actual toasted ravioli in there, which would smell great at first but then gradually worse and worse over time.
Q: Does it actually smell like toasted ravioli in St. Louis?
A: Sure, sometimes. It can smell like toasted ravioli in your city, too, if you cook some toasted ravioli.
Q: Is this a good gift for someone who misses St. Louis?
A: In our opinion, this candle is a good gift for literally anyone, except (maybe) children. And people with a wax allergy, if that exists. But it is an especially good gift for people who miss St. Louis, a category which includes nearly all St. Louisans who are not presently in St. Louis.
Q: Why not make it smell like gooey butter cake, or pork steak, or beer? Wouldn’t those be more popular candle scents? What kind of an operation are you people running, anyway?
A: No more questions about the scent!
Q: Can you prove that you’re real St. Louisans by throwing some St. Louis slang at us?
A: Sure! In St. Louis, people use the word “hoosier” a lot. It refers to someone from Indiana. If you’re in St. Louis and someone calls you a hoosier, just gently correct them. “Alas, good sir, you have mistaken me for an Indianan. Whereas, in point of fact, I hail from (and then just say wherever you’re from).” There, you just made a friend, in St. Louis!