This Won't Help: Modest Proposals for a More Enjoyable Apocalypse (Hardcover)

This Won't Help: Modest Proposals for a More Enjoyable Apocalypse By Eli Grober Cover Image

This Won't Help: Modest Proposals for a More Enjoyable Apocalypse (Hardcover)

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Part catharsis, part diagnosis, this divinely wry collection from New Yorker and McSweeney’s satirist Eli Grober will strike a chord with readers who are dismayed by the chaos of our times. None of it will help—but a few good laughs won’t hurt. Probably.


There’s a lot going on, all the time. It may feel overwhelming. Don’t worry. It will end. This Won’t Help is here for you in the meantime—with 100 short, sharp, satirical essays that skewer a world raging with inaction, while maximizing the profits of self-destruction. As if that would help!



Eli Grober’s biting, Swiftian prose spares no one—not the megalomaniacal billionaire fleeing Earth for a better life on unlivable Mars, not an extremely online family living completely off-grid, not even a fossil-fuel lobbyist insisting we all stop using straws. (Eli does spare a kind thought for the supremely intelligent readers with the good sense to buy this book.) Maybe, just maybe, descending through the inferno of our environmental, economic, and political landscape will help us find real solutions to the hypocrisy and dysfunction that surrounds us. But probably not.
Eli Grober is an American satirist. He is a longtime humor contributor to The New Yorker and McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and has authored some of their most-read humor pieces. He writes the weekly satirical newsletter Here’s Something, and he is a former staff writer for The Tonight Show.

Product Details ISBN: 9781615199990
ISBN-10: 1615199993
Publisher: The Experiment
Publication Date: October 24th, 2023
Pages: 272
Language: English
Guaranteed, nonstop laughs (and only some sobbing). At this point, ditching plastic straws probably won’t save our dying planet, but buying this book will at least ensure that you’ll be laughing as the world burns. Worse comes to worst, you can roll up the pages and make yourself some paper straws.
— Emma Allen, humor and cartoon editor for The New Yorker

An absolutely hilarious collection. Things aren’t looking all that great right now, but while we’re still here we might as well try and make the best of it, and reading Eli Grober’s masterful satire in This Won’t Help is a good place to start—before it all ends.

— Chris Monks, editor of McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

If you’ve ever wished your anxieties had punch lines, this book is for you.
— Karen Chee, comedian and writer, Late Night with Seth Meyers

This Won’t Help has all the hallmarks of what makes Eli Grober’s writing great: incisive cultural commentary, scathing political satire, and tender moments of sneaky sweetness. For anyone feeling fear about the future or angst about the present, this collection of hilarious essays is a welcome salve. If you like laughing, you’re gonna LOVE this book!

— Mitra Jouhari, comedian, actress, and writer

Eli Grober is one of the very funniest writers.
— Liana Finck, New Yorker cartoonist

I rarely physically laugh at anything, and this had me going. Eli’s satire would be wasted on a sane society. He’s the perfect fiddler for the burning city on a hill.
— Dennard Dayle, author of Everything Abridged

Confronting a world overcome by injustice and disaster, Eli Grober has rolled up his sleeves and written very silly jokes—which keenly, nimbly, hilariously encapsulate our ridiculous resistance to making things better.
— Betsy Morais, managing editor, Columbia Journalism Review

When the state of the world is so uncomfortable or devastating that the impulse is to look away, Eli makes me want to sit and stare (and also laugh until I cry). Eli’s ability to break down cultural absurdities to their most elemental forms, his incisive wit and his delightful turns of phrase hold us in a place where we can understand things for what they truly are—and it’s only in this place that we can navigate a path through to the other side.
— Zoe Si, illustrator, cartoonist, and Pulitzer Prize finalist

Eli is an insightful and hilarious writer, and this book made me laugh, but he’s dead wrong when he says This Won’t Help. I thought of at least four ways it helps, and if you find me, I’ll tell you.

— Zach Cherry, improv comedian and actor, Severance

Eli Grober has written approximately a million essays and they are all funny and thoughtful and somehow comforting! The debate of quality versus quantity is over. Eli Grober does BOTH.
— Jo Firestone, comedian, actress, and writer

This Won’t Help is a veritable chef’s kiss of biting, of-the-moment satire. This book may not save the world, but then again . . . maybe it will?

— Sarah Pappalardo, editor, Reductress

Eli manages to address the biggest, scariest issues of the day without wallowing in hopelessness or using despair as a cheap substitute for a punchline. A ton of fun, and a masterful display of joke writing.
— Luke Burns and James Folta, editors, A Newsletter of Humorous Writing

Few humorists can successfully grapple with the end of all life on Earth. Thankfully, Eli Grober is up to the task. This book may not save us, but it will make the giant hydrothermal vent tubeworms view us a little more kindly.
— Michael Gerber, editor, The American Bystander